Vera

Ok.. I got my new Vera Bradley catalog today. Flipped through at the mailbox and found a purse that I was totally and instantly in love with. I normally think my purchase out when the new book comes. Not this time... I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn't even go back into the house, I got in my truck and drove straight to the store, walked in... straight to the Vera section. I saw the "Morgan" in every fabric but the Cafe Latte. So I ask, ever so politely, the woman who is putting out a new shipment of Vera if they have it... mind you my mouth is practically watering. She says to me as she's walking to the back ... I might have one in the two boxes I'm putting away in the back. So I get so excited that's she's going to bring my beloved Cafe Latte Morgan out to meet her proud new mama. Then, as she continues to walk to the back she says.... You can come back this evening or tomorrow to see if we have one. I said.. WHAT? She said.. yes, tonight or tomorrow. I said.. OH! Well, thank you OH SO MUCH and left. Can you believe it? Guess where I WILL NOT be returning to buy my new Miss Morgan...

Another first.....

Today Peyton and Brian shared something very unique... her first motorcycle ride!!!

Both of them enjoyed it so much.

Where have I been?

Things have been going at warp speed here lately. On May 19th I had to have surgery. I was supposed to be down for two days, but was down for seven. Went back to work on the 27th.

On May 31 my father in law called me to tell me that my mother in law had shot herself and she was dead. He was beyond beside himself. Explaining to a six year that her Jammy wouldn't be around anymore was so hard. Especially after she took it so hard when her great grandfather passed away in January.

I know it's not for me to understand, but how does someone get to the point that they can't take life any longer? How is you get voices in your head that tell you to kill yourself? When does all of this happen? How does it happen? Please, someone tell me. Yes, she'd been mentally ill for a very long time and for the last ten years had been in and out of psychiatic hospitals and facilities. She threatened it many times, and attempted it a few times. It makes me sad to know that someone can't go on knowing that God loves them, their family loves them, their friends love them, and their grandchildren adore them. How is that the memories of tucking your babies into bed at night don't give you a reason to go on?

How is it someone can fight cancer to be with their family and another can just end it?

Yes, I'm angry. My husband, who is an amazing man told me this... I'm not angry with her. She didn't want to go on. She hasn't been happy for a long time. She got what she wanted. Amazing. He says he said goodbye to her a long time ago when she no longer the mom he grew up with.

Prayers

Saturday afternoon I got some disturbing news. A longtime friend of mine attempted suicide and is now in a "mental" hospital. I don't understand how things can get to a point in your life that you would rather not live anymore. I pray for him, his wife and his three kids.

Yesterday, my mother in law was admitted to a "mental" hospital. She was admitted for detox of medications, to start the new meds and for her own protection. She has agreed to go through EST again. Twelve years ago she made her husband promise to never let EST happen again. This time she said... the medications aren't working, I have to do something.

I know these things aren't for me to understand, but to pray for recovery.

Ensure & Go-Gurt

Tell me how is it that kids can eat the same thing for breakfast everyday. The same cereal, the same toast? This morning on my way to work I had a Homemade Vanilla Milkshake "flavored" Ensure and a Strawberry Milkshake "flavored" Go-Gurt. Hmmmm... I'm wondering if I should have a real milkshake for lunch. :)

Club Libby Lu

A few weeks ago my daughter went to a birthday party at Club Libby Lu. I don't know if many of you know about this place, but it's wonderful. They get treated like little Diva's for 90 minutes. They get to pretend they are in a band, etc. Miss P really enjoyed it!

Do you remember.......

Last night after my daughter read me a story she asked, "Do you remember when I was a baby?" How could I not remember?! She then tells me to pretend she's a baby as she snuggles next to me and goos & gaas like a baby. Then she says she wants to change her name. I asked her what she would like her name to be. She said... Call me Samantha. I said... You already have a cousin named Samantha. She said... I know, but if you named me Samantha I'd have that awesome Hannah Montana room!

February 11, 2008

Last Friday night we had to tell our daughter that her Pappy had passed away. When my Grandmother and Uncle Jeff passes away, the easiest way to explain it to her was they went to be with the angels. Friday night I told her that someone we knew had gone to be with the angels. She said.. I know, Mammaw Minnie and Uncle Jeff. I said, Yes, they went but someone else did too. She asked who and I told her. Her face lost all its happiness and she started sobbing and asking... Why did he have to go so soon? I explained to her that she's had six birthdays and he's had 92. She thought he must have had some pretty good cakes. She wanted to know how he died. I told her that they tried to move him from one chair to another and he just leaned over and that was it. I told her it was time, that God had called him to go to Heaven. I spoke with her counselor at school and Thursday before we left they gave her a grief bag with a letter in it. It contained a bear to hug and love, a stress ball to squeeze if she felt angry, a journal and pen so she could write about her feelings, a drawing pad and markers so she could draw pictures. What a wonderful bag of goodies. We got through the visitation and services and she had a few questions, but last night she broke out in a down and out cry. She felt so badly that she didn't get to say goodbye and give him and hug and a kiss. I reminded her the last time we went to visit she gave him a hug and a kiss and read books to him. She said it wasn't the same.
I told her that she doesn't have to say goodbye because her memories of him will always be in her heart. She thought about it for a while then said... At least he doesn't have that terrible cough anymore.

January 30

We found out last night that Brian's Grandfather had passed away. He was 92. What a full life!

January 29, 2008

The holidays were good. We went away for Christmas. My best friend, Marcie and her family and our family went to Massanutten Resort in VA. We rented a cabin and had a great time. We baked cookies, went tubing, went to an indoor water park, but mostly, we just relaxed. That was the best part. At one point the seven of us were in the living room together. The three girls were playing with their DS's. Keith was playing a video game, Brian was surfing the net, Marcie was checking out a magazine and I was doing a Sudoku puzzle. It amazed my husband that all of us could be in the same room doing different things and not need to be entertained by one another. Don't get me wrong, we spent a lot of time doing things together, but it was a comfortable silence. One that I experience at my Grandparents house in Farmington and one that was kind of a way of life with my Grandparents in Parkersburg. She couldn't hear very well, but just sitting in the room with her or beside her holding her hand was all she needed. Many times I saw tears in her eyes. When I would ask her if she was ok. She said she was just perfect. Now that I'm older, I know exactly what she meant. I miss you Mammaw Minnie.