Life

Random Things That Cross My Mind

2010-06-15T18:31:00.000-07:00

I often think of these things.. maybe if I put them down on "paper"....

*Yes, I tell my friends I love them. You shouldn't be afraid to do the same.
*I have a tattoo and it doesn't make me a bad person.
*I drink, but I'm not a crazed out alcoholic, I ask you to consider this when judging me.
*Just because I speak my mind, I'm not hateful.
*Don't be afraid to talk to me.
*If you choose to judge me from a far, don't tell the masses what you think you know about me.
*First I'm a mother. Don't ask me to choose.
*Love me or hate me, but don't be rude about it.
*Don't ask me for my opinion if you really don't want it.
*I consider myself a "real" person.
*Because my favorite TV show is called The Big Bang Theory, it doesn't mean I'm a non-believer in Christ.
*While I don't work at my daughters school, I still refer to it as our school in a conversation.
*I love to laugh and most times I laugh loudly. I'm happy.
*I volunteer at our school when I can, I work full time, I'm a mother, an employee, a wife, a friend, a neighbor. I can't do it all, all the time, nor do I pretend that I can.
*I love my neighbors. I wish everyone had a next door neighbor as wonderful as mine. The world would be a happier place.
*I listen to all types of music.
*I love to stand by the ocean and listen to the waves and the birds. Often times it brings tears to my eyes to see the wonders of God.

Piss Poor Parents

2010-05-02T18:36:00.000-07:00

Over the past few months I have found out just exactly what kind of men some "fathers" can be. I am completely shocked at the face these men put on. Really.... get a job... keep your job. Do not put your worries onto your young children. Telling them things like... Daddy owes the government so much money they will probably put in jail because I can't pay it... And... Calling your son trash and telling him he's a freak and belongs on a Jerry Springer SHow.... just so you "daddy dear" can look cool in front of your girlfriends kids who are teenagers. YOU SUCK AS A FATHER!!!

Friends. 1/4/09

2009-01-05T06:47:00.001-08:00

First and foremost I want to say that I have the greatest friends. Many are going through hardships right now and I pray for their strength and safety. Tonight I was enlightened to the fact that a friend that I've had for 22 years told my husband that he would be civil to me because I was his wife, but that was it. Talk about a blow to the heart. He and his wife are divorcing and he feels I'm not being a good friend to him by confirming many things he's dreamed up in his mind. I know there are so many things I could say that would do nothing more than put him down. My thoughts are this: I'll pray for his strength and healing. As far as our friendship goes: it's his loss. I'm not going to beat myself up over it.

Then there are friends who have seen us through a lifetime! There was a group of kids I used to run around with growing up. We'd play hide and seek til well after dark, ride our bikes all over town, explore the woods. But you know what. We weren't trouble makers. We didn't do things to get in trouble. We just enjoyed being together as friends. Out of this group I found something so precious, my friendship with Gary. I can't even begin to tell you how many movies we watched together, how many laughs we shared, how many decks of cards we shuffled the faces off of. I don't ever recall really having a fight with him. If we did, it was nothing serious, because it was so easily forgotten. Friendship with him is comfortable. No matter how much time has passed, our friendship is still there. It's easy. I hope one day my daughter finds a friend like Gary. He will make her laugh til she cries, and when she cries, he'll cheer her up til she laughs.
We've seen each other through boyfriends and girlfriends (me the boys and he the girls), (HA HA HA). Marriage, children, the joys of parenthood and the everyday things that come with growing into adults.

More friends tomorrow.

1/1/09 It's all new

2009-01-01T19:28:00.000-08:00

This year I don't have the typical resolutions. This year, I want to be healthier, if I lose some weight in the meantime, great, if not, great. I want to feel better, physically and emotionally. 2008 was a pure roller coaster of emotion. Too many times I felt so overwhelmed I thought I was going to implode. I'm so thankful to my many friends who helped keep me sane. I am truly in awe of my husband. I'm not sure how he tolerated me this past year. I rarely tolerated myself. I feel that I neglected relationships with my husband and my daughter, as well as many friends. This year, I'm going to be a better person. I'm going to journal to get my thoughts out of my head. So many times I've told Peyton to write down what she's feeling. I should have taken my own advice. She's the brightest spot in my life. My husband is my rock, my shoulder and the helping hand that has helped pull me out of this funk called 2008. There have also been many blessings this year. Some things I'm thankful for... visits with family. My husbands new job. Friends. A warm home. A blessed family. Broken hearts that mend. I know that this year has taught me many life lessons. WOW! Who knew at 37 I could learn so much is so little time. My advice: Nurture friendships; you never know what will happen. Nurture your spouse; often times that's who's going to pull you up. Nurture your family; you never know what will happen. Nurture you, keep your head clear. Hug someone everyday. Tell someone you love them everyday. Here's to an awesome 2009!

Vera

2008-07-08T12:24:00.001-07:00

Ok.. I got my new Vera Bradley catalog today. Flipped through at the mailbox and found a purse that I was totally and instantly in love with. I normally think my purchase out when the new book comes. Not this time... I knew exactly what I wanted. I didn't even go back into the house, I got in my truck and drove straight to the store, walked in... straight to the Vera section. I saw the "Morgan" in every fabric but the Cafe Latte. So I ask, ever so politely, the woman who is putting out a new shipment of Vera if they have it... mind you my mouth is practically watering. She says to me as she's walking to the back ... I might have one in the two boxes I'm putting away in the back. So I get so excited that's she's going to bring my beloved Cafe Latte Morgan out to meet her proud new mama. Then, as she continues to walk to the back she says.... You can come back this evening or tomorrow to see if we have one. I said.. WHAT? She said.. yes, tonight or tomorrow. I said.. OH! Well, thank you OH SO MUCH and left. Can you believe it? Guess where I WILL NOT be returning to buy my new Miss Morgan...

Another first.....

2008-07-06T18:33:00.000-07:00

Today Peyton and Brian shared something very unique... her first motorcycle ride!!!

Both of them enjoyed it so much.

Where have I been?

2008-06-27T12:28:00.000-07:00

Things have been going at warp speed here lately. On May 19th I had to have surgery. I was supposed to be down for two days, but was down for seven. Went back to work on the 27th.

On May 31 my father in law called me to tell me that my mother in law had shot herself and she was dead. He was beyond beside himself. Explaining to a six year that her Jammy wouldn't be around anymore was so hard. Especially after she took it so hard when her great grandfather passed away in January.

I know it's not for me to understand, but how does someone get to the point that they can't take life any longer? How is you get voices in your head that tell you to kill yourself? When does all of this happen? How does it happen? Please, someone tell me. Yes, she'd been mentally ill for a very long time and for the last ten years had been in and out of psychiatic hospitals and facilities. She threatened it many times, and attempted it a few times. It makes me sad to know that someone can't go on knowing that God loves them, their family loves them, their friends love them, and their grandchildren adore them. How is that the memories of tucking your babies into bed at night don't give you a reason to go on?

How is it someone can fight cancer to be with their family and another can just end it?

Yes, I'm angry. My husband, who is an amazing man told me this... I'm not angry with her. She didn't want to go on. She hasn't been happy for a long time. She got what she wanted. Amazing. He says he said goodbye to her a long time ago when she no longer the mom he grew up with.

Prayers

2008-04-08T07:37:00.000-07:00

Saturday afternoon I got some disturbing news. A longtime friend of mine attempted suicide and is now in a "mental" hospital. I don't understand how things can get to a point in your life that you would rather not live anymore. I pray for him, his wife and his three kids.

Yesterday, my mother in law was admitted to a "mental" hospital. She was admitted for detox of medications, to start the new meds and for her own protection. She has agreed to go through EST again. Twelve years ago she made her husband promise to never let EST happen again. This time she said... the medications aren't working, I have to do something.

I know these things aren't for me to understand, but to pray for recovery.

Ensure & Go-Gurt

2008-04-03T06:58:00.000-07:00

Tell me how is it that kids can eat the same thing for breakfast everyday. The same cereal, the same toast? This morning on my way to work I had a Homemade Vanilla Milkshake "flavored" Ensure and a Strawberry Milkshake "flavored" Go-Gurt. Hmmmm... I'm wondering if I should have a real milkshake for lunch. :)

Club Libby Lu

2008-04-01T06:26:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago my daughter went to a birthday party at Club Libby Lu. I don't know if many of you know about this place, but it's wonderful. They get treated like little Diva's for 90 minutes. They get to pretend they are in a band, etc. Miss P really enjoyed it!

Do you remember.......

2008-02-21T07:06:00.001-08:00

Last night after my daughter read me a story she asked, "Do you remember when I was a baby?" How could I not remember?! She then tells me to pretend she's a baby as she snuggles next to me and goos & gaas like a baby. Then she says she wants to change her name. I asked her what she would like her name to be. She said... Call me Samantha. I said... You already have a cousin named Samantha. She said... I know, but if you named me Samantha I'd have that awesome Hannah Montana room!

February 11, 2008

2008-02-11T08:43:00.000-08:00

Last Friday night we had to tell our daughter that her Pappy had passed away. When my Grandmother and Uncle Jeff passes away, the easiest way to explain it to her was they went to be with the angels. Friday night I told her that someone we knew had gone to be with the angels. She said.. I know, Mammaw Minnie and Uncle Jeff. I said, Yes, they went but someone else did too. She asked who and I told her. Her face lost all its happiness and she started sobbing and asking... Why did he have to go so soon? I explained to her that she's had six birthdays and he's had 92. She thought he must have had some pretty good cakes. She wanted to know how he died. I told her that they tried to move him from one chair to another and he just leaned over and that was it. I told her it was time, that God had called him to go to Heaven. I spoke with her counselor at school and Thursday before we left they gave her a grief bag with a letter in it. It contained a bear to hug and love, a stress ball to squeeze if she felt angry, a journal and pen so she could write about her feelings, a drawing pad and markers so she could draw pictures. What a wonderful bag of goodies. We got through the visitation and services and she had a few questions, but last night she broke out in a down and out cry. She felt so badly that she didn't get to say goodbye and give him and hug and a kiss. I reminded her the last time we went to visit she gave him a hug and a kiss and read books to him. She said it wasn't the same.
I told her that she doesn't have to say goodbye because her memories of him will always be in her heart. She thought about it for a while then said... At least he doesn't have that terrible cough anymore.

January 30

2008-02-11T08:42:00.000-08:00

We found out last night that Brian's Grandfather had passed away. He was 92. What a full life!

January 29, 2008

2008-01-29T05:41:00.000-08:00

The holidays were good. We went away for Christmas. My best friend, Marcie and her family and our family went to Massanutten Resort in VA. We rented a cabin and had a great time. We baked cookies, went tubing, went to an indoor water park, but mostly, we just relaxed. That was the best part. At one point the seven of us were in the living room together. The three girls were playing with their DS's. Keith was playing a video game, Brian was surfing the net, Marcie was checking out a magazine and I was doing a Sudoku puzzle. It amazed my husband that all of us could be in the same room doing different things and not need to be entertained by one another. Don't get me wrong, we spent a lot of time doing things together, but it was a comfortable silence. One that I experience at my Grandparents house in Farmington and one that was kind of a way of life with my Grandparents in Parkersburg. She couldn't hear very well, but just sitting in the room with her or beside her holding her hand was all she needed. Many times I saw tears in her eyes. When I would ask her if she was ok. She said she was just perfect. Now that I'm older, I know exactly what she meant. I miss you Mammaw Minnie.

A hint from my friend.

2007-10-02T07:24:00.000-07:00

I was telling my dear friend Marcie that I feel like I don't get enough done in the evenings. She told her secret - Don't sit down. Boy was she right. Before Judo at 4, my husband listened to Miss P while she read him the three homework books. I took my daughter to Judo, did two loads of laundry, made dinner, had it cleaned up and had a pasta sauce cooked for lasagna on Wednesday night. All by 6 PM!!!! Mind you, I didn't start til 3:20. I was quite impressed. While I was at Judo, I flipped through some cookbooks and catalogs I'd taken along with me.

I need to remember this... Don't sit down!

Happy October!

2007-10-01T07:46:00.001-07:00

I absolutely love this time of year. It inspires me to cook. Tonight, I'm going to go through a few of my favorite cookbooks while I'm with my daughter at Judo this afternoon. Our family attended a family reunion over the weekend. It was so good to see my family. There were also a lot of mixed emotions involved. I'm so thankful for the times we have together and sad for the time that's slipped away, but overjoyed by all the happy memories. I'm always a little tearful when we leave. Knowing that my grandfather is slipping away with Alzheimer's, seeing the worry on my Grandma's face, knowing some can't be there because they are too far away, or due to illnesses, or because they've gone on to Heaven. I keep them all in my heart and in my prayers.

Prayer

2007-09-17T06:07:00.000-07:00

My dear friend Tiny shared this with me. It made me think about how often many do wait until things aren't so great to thank God what he's already done. I am guilty of this.

DEAR GOD: I want to thank You for what you have already done. I am not going to wait until I see results or receive rewards; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until I feel better or things look better; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until people say they are sorry or until they stop talking about me; I am thanking you right now.. I am not going to wait until the pain in my body disappears ; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until my financial situation improves; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until the children are asleep and the house is quiet; I am going to thank you right now. I am not going to wait until I get promoted at work or until I get the job; I am going to thank you right now. I am not go ing to wait until I understand every experience in my life that has caused me pain or grief; I am thanking you right now. I am not going to wait until the journey gets easier or the challenges are removed; I am thanking you right now. I am thanking you because I am alive I am thanking you because I made it through the day's difficulties. I am thanking you because I have walked around the obstacles. I am thanking you because I have the ability and the opportunity to do more and do better. I' m thanking you because FATHER, YOU haven't given up on me.

My toothless wonder.

2007-09-12T18:36:00.000-07:00

Somehow, my baby grew up. She lost her first tooth last Friday, and the second tooth Monday. Tonight her Judo instructor informed her she can now drink from a straw without opening her mouth. She couldn't wait to try that one out.

Our youngest cat is healing nicely from her surgery last week. Today she's in the windows looking at the birds and bugs. I'm so glad she finally got her energy back and is off her favorite dining room chair.

I'm watching a special on Mac & Cheese on Food Network. Who knew there were so many options?!

First Grade

2007-08-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

My daughter started First Grade on Monday. She loves the new school and new faces. She's so much more grown up. While we were at Judo class waiting for the instructor, she pulled out a basket of blocks and started building an elaborate house. I asked if she played with blocks in school today. Her reply was... Mama, I'm in a big girl school now, not baby school. (heart tugs)
How is that my 19" long baby is now 4' 1" and wearing size 4 shoes?

July 13

2007-07-14T06:00:00.001-07:00

My husband and I recently celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary. He got me the greatest gift. A digital picture frame. I loaded my favorite pictures of him and my daughter. Going through all my pictures I realized something - we have very few pictures of the three of us together. I need to work on that.

Have you ever had an event in your life that was so sad, but you took something wonderful from the happenings around it? In November one of my Uncle Jeff passed away. He truly was a wonderful man. During the funeral service I realized many things. I have a wonderful family. While we may be spread across the country, we are there for one another. We aren't one of those families where everyone gets together and argues. We have a great time when we get together! There are no fights or blows up or arguments!

During the service two of my Uncles (yes, it's a BIG family) delivered the message. Both are preachers with their own styles. I took a lot from the service. Mostly, I took peace. I hadn't felt that kind of peace for quite a while.

I ordered a new Bible yesterday. A down to earth, translated version that's easier to understand. I want to find that peace in my heart and soul again.

June 26

2007-06-27T05:43:00.001-07:00

Today was a great day! It started with a follow up appt for our daughters blood pressure. It's down to normal!!! Hooray!!! The doctor says she's not going to put Miss P through more blood work for six months. Miss P was VERY happy to hear that. Her term for having blood drawn is " getting a sling shot". Kids do say the funniest things.

Later in the day we went to a local dairy farm to feed the calves. That was so much fun!!! I really, really enjoyed it.

June 19th

2007-06-19T05:20:00.000-07:00

A week ago I found out my daughter has some issues with triglycerides and cholesterol. How does this happen at five year old? I know she isn't the picture of perfect health when it comes to her diet. Couldn't we all use a few more fruits and vegetables!?! I've found out how hard it is when you are watching fats, salts, sugars and sodium all at the same time.

I feel so blessed that she somewhat understands that she needs to eat healthier foods and smaller portions.

The other day when I was feeling guilty for all of this my dear friend reminded me of this: It was caught early! You took her the doctor for a follow up on bronchitis and her BP was still a little high so they sent her for the blood work. Now you know what the problem is and you have to address it. I'm so thankful that Marcie is back in my life. She reminds me that God is looking out for all of us.

June 4, 2007

2007-06-04T06:37:00.001-07:00

For the past few years I've enjoyed reading the blogs of others. I've decided it's time to do one myself. It may take me a while to get things going, worked out, pictures posted, etc, but I'm excited about it!